How to Save  Life
by chipped-nails
Summary: Harry Potter committed suicide to save the world.  In his death came the death of Voldemort and the fall of his followers.  But what of the people he left behind?  Will the hearts broken ever be mended? Please read and Review
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Don't own anything, not the title or the chapter titles – How to Save a life by the Fray. Listen to it brilliant song.**

Chapter One – Step One

Hermione Granger woke with a start. Sweat beads had formed across her hairline and her eyes were stinging with tears. She looked around her dark dilapidated room at 12 Grimlaund Place and secretly prayed to god that what she saw was nothing but a dream. Looking over to the bed beside her she saw the covers thrown back and it was empty. It was a common thing for Hermione to look over and for Ginny to be missing. Usually she was downstairs in the kitchen playing cards with Harry or one of her brothers, or making a pot of tea being very domesticated for someone with such fire in her spirit. But she had a hunch she wasn't downstairs in the kitchen.

Throwing back her own covers she slipped into her sheepskin slippers the old wooden floor cold and often damp. The old house of Black was not a very good insulator of heat, the cold winter temperatures sinking into the house chilling the inhabitants. Over Christmas members of the Order of the Phoenix and those of Dumbledore's Army had come together to celebrate the holiday, even though there was a grim shadow cast down over the normally happy time. Hermione had cherished the time with her peers and the older wizards ever aware that they may no longer be there the next day.

She especially cherished her time with Harry. He had been absent from school for the majority of the year disappearing in search of the Horcruxes then reappearing with no success. Many times she had followed him but often times he just upped and left without telling anyone and thus Ron and her were left behind anxious for his return. Christmas was a time where they all left school and spent time together helping everyone out; it was very special.

Creeping out of her room she tiptoed down the hall hoping not to wake anyone after already experiencing the wrath of the Weasley boys who were woken up by silly girls. She walked down the creaky old stairs ever so carefully and came to the landing where Harry and Ron slept. The door was ajar. Quietly pushing it open she peered in and saw three beds squashed into the small room. Even in the dim light she recognised her boyfriend Ron Weasley's fiery red hair. He slept peacefully which was something remarkable in these times, limbs hanging over the side of the bed too long for its dimensions. But it was not him she was looking for. In the middle bed was another mound of red hair as Ginny breathed in and out quietly the old comforter pulled up and around her shoulders covering her partially naked body. Hermione swallowed with great effort hoping to find Harry in that bed as well. The final bed was empty but its occupant was soon to startle Hermione.

Jumping at the soft tap on her shoulder Hermione came face-to-face with the boy she had long learned to loath. Draco Malfoy stood in the doorway behind her his blond hair messed and ruffled from sleep his eyes surrounded by rings exposing his weariness. Two months earlier after fleeing the Death Eater headquarters at his own house to the safety of Professor McGonagall's arms he had been held prisoner at Grimlaund Place for his own safety. It was plain to see he did not want to live the life of his father as a servant to Voldemort. His hesitation in killing Dumbledore was an example of that. However he was not a welcome resident constantly isolated, left out and ignored. Treated as bad as a house elf paying for what he had done over the years.

"What do you want?" he whispered to Hermione who roughly pushed past him ignoring his question. He got that a lot people were not as forgiving as he had hoped.

Hermione continued down the stairs into the kitchen and saw it. The letter she had seen in her dream. It was in Harry's writing. Too scared to open it she prepared to wake everyone up but noticed in the corner the very person she was going to wake first. Remus Lupin was tired and looked like he had been crying.

"I had a dream, please say it was just a dream," Hermione begged a huge ball of emotion choking her voice. Lupin slowly shook his head. Hermione stopped breathing for a moment all emotion draining from her heart. All of a sudden the world stopped. A change occurred and with that she knew he was gone. A wave of and indescribable feeling washed over the world. Hermione collapsed to the ground blown over by the feeling. Everyone everywhere breathed a new breath, those asleep were awake those sick felt relieved, those weary and tired were rejuvenated. No sooner had the feeling of elation washed over did everyone in the old house run downstairs.

It was clear Voldemort was now dead. Preparations were made to make sure it was true, men and women apparated in and out the house was busy and full of life. Cheers and tears of joy erupted all around the world, as finally the world was free from its terror, reborn. Voldemort was gone and the power of his followers was dying. Suddenly the world was awake as arrests were made and final battles fought all the while people wondered how it happened.

Hermione sat quietly on the floor backed up against the wall tears pouring down her face, and they weren't tears of joy. Voldemort was gone, but so was Harry Potter.

**(A/N:**

**Hey ok so yeah hope you like it please read and review I have a sequel planned and everything. Let me know what you think!)**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Written before the book came out. Do not own anything. The chapters and title are based on the song 'How To Save a Life" by the Fray.

Chapter Two – Sit down it's just a talk

Hermione quickly hurried out of the packed to the brim courtroom on the bottom most level of the Ministry of Magic. She did not want to be seen. It had been seven days since Harry had killed himself thus vanquishing the Dark Lord. The world never seemed to sleep now. There were people running around the streets crying out in joy, magical creatures were venturing into the sight of muggles without the slightest hesitation. Arrests were made every hour it seemed and therefore the courts of the ministry were never adjourned most were quickly accused then sent to Azkaban with life sentences.

For the past week Hermione had felt like a ghost, slinking in the background whilst the members of the order and some of her own friends worked hard in capturing Voldemort's followers. She still didn't understand why Harry had to die. She had become completely solitary moving in the shadows. She had hardly spoken to Ron who distracted himself from Harry's death by disappearing for hours at night and sleeping all day. She was alone in he sadness unable to move from the moment she found out he was dead. She hadn't realised it would affect her so, usually she would be strong and move on preserving the memory of those lost. But Harry was different. It felt like a chunk of her heart had been ripped away and she was stuck in time unable to move forward or back. She hardly cried, just moved through the day numb.

It was two days before she had to return to school and an important trial had been scheduled. Hermione went to it on her own accord but knew that members of the Order would want to know its outcome. As she looked over her shoulder she saw the ministry officials shuffle the tall, pale blond haired boy from the caged trail chair in the centre of the courtroom, his eyes puffy and tired. His clothes were dirty and torn; he was a fraction of what he used to be. The proud Draco Malfoy was now nothing but a common criminal. Standing at the door Hermione saw the shackles clicked off his wrists and instantly a similarly blond, pale woman whose eyes were rimmed with black circles and hollow cheeks embraced him.

Hermione marvelled at how different Narcissa Malfoy looked than she did three years ago, the once sleek beautiful woman looked close to collapsing her body frail and weak, Hermione could tell. She was crying kissing her son's face as he whimpered into her shoulder. Hermione had never seen Draco Malfoy so vulnerable; he was nothing but a lost child now.

He was acquitted from a life sentence at Azkaban but received a harsh punishment nonetheless. After his father was prosecuted the family were stripped of everything. There estate was to be destroyed all possessions relocated or destroyed, the ministry seized their wealth; they were left with nothing but the clothes on their back. Draco and Narcissa had been pardoned, yet as Draco attempted to murder Dumbledore he was expelled from Hogwarts and not allowed to apply for any other magical school. He was also handed down the punishment of one thousand hours of community service and was on a good behaviour bond, any mistake leading him straight to Azkaban.

Hermione watched as he cried on his mother's shoulder. He was just a boy pushed into the wrong life by a bad man, his father. But she couldn't feel sorry for him, some part of her was happy he received this punishment after all the pain and tears he had caused. He had brought danger into Hogwarts, betrayed the trust of those around him. He could not be forgiven.

Turning on her heel she shook her head and began to continue walking when her name was called. She ignored it and kept walking yet the person caught up and gently grabbed her elbow.

"What do you want?" she spat turning to see Malfoy, his face blotchy and eyes red.

"Why did you come?" he managed to say voice croaking. Hermione folded her arms and avoided his eyes.

"The Order told me to come, see what became of you," she lied sharply. Draco looked at his shoes.

"I have been relocated, with my mother to Hogsmede," he said looking at Hermione who was pretending to be uninterested, "I can't go back to Hogwarts," he croaked. Hermione stared at him the anger building up in her throat.

"You don't deserve to even be able to speak of Hogwarts you piece of filth, you deserved everything you got," she whispered fiercely hot tears brimming in her eyes. Draco looked pleadingly at her. But she just shook her head tears dropping on her cheeks, then turned from him angry and upset. Draco watched as she walked away from him tears spilling down his face.

Hermione apparated out of the main lobby to the street and was shocked by the cold. She had been expecting the bite of winter after the hot and crowded courtroom yet was still taken by surprise. She began to move through the grey dull streets of winter London all the people around her indistinguishable underneath their many layers of winter woollies. She decided to take the train back to Grimlaund Place not quite ready to face the loud eccentric characters that resided in the old house. She watched people come and go on the train quietly observing subtle their characteristics distracting her from what was plaguing her mind.

It was Harry Potter's funeral that afternoon, and she certainly was not ready for it.

Walking back from the train station she saw a small Catholic Church. It was quaint with a small garden growing around the sidewalk, neat and well kept. There was a large sign exclaiming mass times, she noted that the eleven o'clock mass was about to begin the last dregs of the congregation entering the church. Pulling her black overcoat tighter around her body she went into the church, lighting a candle at the entrance for Harry.

It had been months since Hermione had attended church. It was a comforting feeling to walk through the blessed archways considering all through her childhood she attended church every Sunday. She made a secret commitment to come more often. Finding solace in the words of the minister she prayed for Harry's soul, hoping wherever he was it was better than anything she could imagine.

Hermione did not hang around after the service and as the minister came to welcome her she seemed to just disappear. Arriving outside of the magically enchanted house she entered the house hoping for warmth but not really finding any. She quickly said hello to the members of the Weasley family, Lupin, Tonks and a few other who were preparing themselves for the funeral and jumped into the shower. The hot water was as soothing as the minister's sermon.

"I still can't believe he is gone," Ginny said as she pulled her second shoe on, her beautiful face drained of colour and worn, as were her limbs. She had been mourning for the past week but was all out of tears now. Hermione glanced over to her as she pulled her curly hair off her face into a bun on the back of her head. She remained quiet, she was quiet a lot these days and looked at her reflection smoothing out her satin dress she grabbed her purse and exited the room leaving Ginny without any real response.

Coming down the stairs again she saw everybody in their black funeral attire gathering bits and pieces and beginning to leave. Hermione was about to move with the throng when a voice called her into the kitchen. Remus Lupin sat at the table his eyes tired from busy activity over the past week.

"Hermione, why don't you sit down?" He motioned. She hesitated for a moment knowing the conversation that they were about to have, the conversation she had been dreading and avoiding all week. Clutching her purse the weight of its contents heavy on her heart she sat opposite Lupin who gave her a warm, kind look.

"What's up professor?" she asked, not getting the idea of him as her third year teacher out of her mind.

"Where were you this morning?" he asked she shot him a sideways glance.

"I went to church," she said quickly. He peered over his hands.

"I don't think that is the only place you went. You were at Mr. Malfoy's trial weren't you?" he said seeing through her lie. She stared at him.

"Yes, I wanted to make sure he got the punishment he deserved," she said fiercely. Lupin shook his head seeing her anger boil.

"You need to let go of your anger towards him, he made a mistake. He is just a boy that was misled," Lupin said sympathetically. Hermione stood up knocking over her chair.

"He put me though six years of torment! The amount of hours I cried because of what he said about my parents and me are uncountable! He put the whole school at risk and tried to kill Dumbledore! How can you sit there all calm and tell me to forgive him, you remember what he was like," She yelled upset and trembling, "He deserved everything he got," she seethed bitterly.

"Be matured about this Hermione, one day you will have to forgive him," he said calmly as she paced around angrily, "Please sit down again, take a few breaths," he said and she did what she was told. Sit down and burying her head in her hands she heaved with sobs. Lupin moved around and hugged her shoulders making shushing sounds to calm her.

"Why did he have to die?" she whispered. It was the first time she had asked anyone that. Lupin and some of the others had become increasingly worried about Hermione and Ron as they totally isolated themselves over the past week dealing with their grief in unhealthy ways.

"Have you read the letter he wrote you?" Lupin said after a while. Hermione shook her head, she was terrified of what it would contain. "Perhaps you should, it would explain a lot," Hermione lifted her head and looked at the man.

"No, I can't," she said simply, "I know you say he died to save us, but it didn't have to end like that. The prophecy said nothing about him dying on his own accord. I don't understand how it worked out, but what I do know that he is gone and to a place that isn't of love. Excuse me," she said and pushed out from the table wiping her eyes disappearing down the hallway. Lupin watched her walk out of the kitchen her fragile frame shivering in the cold and with the pain of loss. It was in that moment he began to really worry about what she would do in the wake of Harry's death.

**A/N**

**Hey hoped that you liked it a bit ooh aah angsty but eh. I am going to try and keep Hermione as in character as possible, she isn't going goth/ emo/ anorexic/ alcoholic or anything like that. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three - He goes left and you stay right

Hermione watched teary eyed as Harry's ornate coffin was lowered ever so gently into the ground. It was a cold afternoon the snow was covering the ground and the wind was whipping up beautiful delicate flurries around the funeral party. The funeral was small only Harry's nearest and dearest was invited to attend. Hermione stood next to Ginny holding her hand in her own both shivering from the cold almost in time with each other. Hermione looked over to the fiery redhead her face and head exposed to the elements whilst Hermione covered her own with a fur hat. She marveled at Ginny who after hours of crying had come to the conclusion mourning was not going to bring him back and thus stood tall and proud smiling slightly at the memory of her beloved Harry.

Hermione looked around at the group huddled tightly together around the grave that was gradually being covered. All the Weasley's (with the exception of Percy) stood around the flaming red hair easily recognizable, as did Bill's new wife Fleur, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. Memorials had been held all across the country in particular one planned for early spring at Hogwarts where a memorial not unlike Dumbledore's was to be erected. Lupin and Mr. Weasley hardly found it necessary that more than those who knew Harry well be at his burial. Hermione looked from one etched face to another, cold, tiredness and sadness apparent in their eyes.

She paused and looked at Ron. His red hair was messy and his cheeks pink from the frosty wind. She hoped for him to meet her own eyes, but they were focused, watching as the dirty covered Harry's coffin. He was worn out, Hermione could tell. Grief was taking its toll. He had stopped eating which was remarkable and very worrying. She had watched his every move that afternoon from sitting next to her at the church to watching as he led his brothers carrying out the coffin, tears welling in his eyes. She breathed deeply the cold wind chilling her insides and wished he would look at her. But he didn't; he just watched as the last of the dirt was patted on top of the coffin.

The funeral party began to retreat inside away from the cold hugging and kissing each other in support. Ginny wrapped an arm around Hermione's waist and Hermione did the same. The shared a moment where they seemed to breathe and beat as one as they looked on the pearly white headstone and thought about the loved one lost. Harry had been laid to rest next to his parents; James, Lily then Harry. It was uncanny how they were all buried together, parents and child seventeen years of different between death dates.

_Here Lies the Boy Who Lived_

_Harry James Potter;_

_31__st__ July 1980 – 28__th__ December 1997_

"_We will always succeed, when there is something worth living for."_

Ginny smiled weakly at Hermione and slipped out of the embrace so Hermione was left alone with Ron standing opposite her. It was ironic this would be the last time the three of them would be alone, and Harry was gone. Hermione hesitated wondering whether or not to say something but Ron got there first, his voice hoarse and croaky.

"I suppose everything will be different now eh?" he said his words nearly carried away on the wind. He looked up at Hermione who had her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, squinting against the wind. He looked up and around at the graveyard, evening was closing in the grey sky turning deep blue. He looked at her again her curly hair pointing ever so discreetly from underneath her hat. For days he had longed to touch her, feel her warmth next to him, fill the solitude the empty space left by Harry but she was never there. Ron had loved Hermione, but realised in that moment when she stood shivering opposite him, waiting to be loved, in the moment they needed each other most they could never be together.

"I think I am going to take a walk, Remus pointed out Harry's parents house I think I would like to see it," Hermione said a little louder so Ron could hear. He nodded, "I will meet everyone back at Grimmauld place?" she said with a little hope Ron would ask to accompany her. He attempted a smile yet failed.

"When you get back we won't be there, mum is taking us all back to the Burrow," he said and walked over to her the snow soft under his feet. He stood towering above her but not in a patronising way. Hermione looked up into his eyes and could almost feel what he felt, for the moment. She nodded her head as he drew her into his arms and kissed her forehead. It wasn't like Ron to be so decisive in his affections. Hermione felt him remove her hat slightly and kiss her hair, she smiled remembering all the stolen kisses throughout the year and bit her lip realising they now were nothing more than a memory. Looking back up at him again her eyes fluttered with tears, "I will see you at school," he finally said and kissed her cheek then walked away back towards his family. Hermione was left alone by Harry's grave, deserted by the two people she needed the most, her long gone best friends.

**A.N:**

**RARARARARARARARAR pleas review**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four – Fear and Blame

Hermione thankfully welcomed the privacy of the head prefect's compartment. She did not like the idea of people continually poking their head's in to see her reaction to the death of Harry Potter, because of course everyone knew they were close even reported to be dating at one point (thank you Rita Skeeter). From within her private little carriage she could hear shrill cheers and squeals of those coming back to Hogwarts, all pleased to know they could safely return. Hermione listened as best friends cheered and embraced each other and thought she would never be able to do that with Harry ever again. Shrugging off the thought with some difficulty she pulled on her school robes and settled down into the comfy arm chair occupying the corner of the compartment with an old ancient ruins script, she found comfort in the pattern and methodical translation of ancient texts, the order was a vast contrast to her real and utterly confusing life.

As the train began to puff a chug away from the station there was an unwelcomed knock at the door. With a flick of her wand the door creaked open and standing behind it was a rather sheepish looking Ron Weasley. She was not really in the mood to see her ex-boyfriend, especially considering she hadn't even begun to accept the fact they were no longer together. Looking up from her script she search his face for the reason for his appearance. His vacant expression did not expose him yet his speech did.

"I wanted to see how you were doing?" he asked remaining in the doorway. Hermione shrugged and turned from him, perhaps he would leave now. But he didn't, "I haven't spoken to you in a couple of days, since you know Godric's Hollow, maybe we could talk?" he said looking hopeful.

"No we can't," she said curtly. He was slightly taken back by her sharp tone but persisted.

"Putting us aside, I really want to talk about Harry," he said heavily, Hermione did not answer, she did not even look at him, Ron continued, "I…have you read his letter?"

"No Ron I haven't. I don't want to talk about Harry, I don't want to talk to you. You know, if you hadn't been so concerned with being the perfect couple then maybe Harry would be alive! Because of you I think Harry felt excluded, you should have made more of an effort to include him. He would have trusted us if you had done that. We could have helped him look for the Horcruxes and found them, and then he wouldn't have had to die. But you were too concerned with parading around with me!" she said furiously raising herself from her seat and meeting him eye to eye. She was angry about so many things and Ron happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"What on earth are you talking about, you mad woman! Harry never told us anything! He always just disappeared, I would have gone had he let us but he didn't. You have no right blaming me for something that was out of our control! I never excluded him I do not have a bloody clue what you are talking about. And if I remember correctly you enjoyed being my girlfriend!" he yelled back. Hermione quickly slapped him.

"Get out get out!" she screamed. Hot tears built up in Ron's eyes but he did not move. Hermione drew her wand and Ron took a step back.

"What are you doing?" he asked slightly afraid.

"Get out!" she continued to yell forcing him down the carriage. People began to poke their heads out to see Hermione with her wand drawn and pointed straight at Ron, screaming like a banshee. "It is your fault! All your fault!" she screamed again and Ron's face went stone still, he looked at her and shook his head, she was fired up and furious and he knew that being on the end of her wand was not a good thing. He turned away from her without a word and disappeared inside a compartment. Shaking Hermione lowered her wand and retreated to her own space slamming the door as she went leaving people running around whispering and spreading the news. She didn't care; after all no one dared cross her she was head girl. The rest of her train ride she was uninterrupted, she didn't think about Ron or Harry just submerged herself in her texts books disappearing inside the world of education.

Remarkably they arrived early at Hogsmeade, a situation that had never occurred before. The thestral drawn carriages had not arrived yet, so with a little time to spare the students were allowed to roam around Hogsmeade. It was drawing on nightfall the lights of the town being illuminated lighting up the main street. Hermione pulled her overcoat tight around her body a cool breeze whipping through the town picking up flurries of snow, rubbing cheeks raw; making them go pink. She watched as students ran in and out of Honeydukes and Zonko's excited to be free to run around without omnipresent danger lurking over their heads. The town's people were milling around chatty and friendly welcoming the students at every turn. She saw how the line extended out of the post office and how the Three Broomsticks had to turn away people. The cold didn't seem to worry people at all they were just happy to be living in a world of peace now.

Hermione tried to smile at the joy in the streets but couldn't, she did not welcome this new year with as much enthusiasm as everyone else did. As she kept walking down the street she saw Ron in an animated discussion with Ginny and Dean Thomas, who had fled Hogwarts early on in the school year after his family had been persecuted.

Just before Christmas a Muggle-Born Registration had been put in place, a large portion of students with muggle-parents had left the school before they could be detected. Hermione had quickly left a few weeks before Christmas holidays along with the remaining Weasley children. It was not too long after they had left that Snape had replaced Professor McGonagall as headmaster and Death Eaters were employed as teachers. Fortunately enough this new regime did not last long, as Harry killed himself and Voldemort was vanquished.

Hermione buried her face in her clothing so as not to be seen by the three Gryffindors and continued walking to the very outskirts of the town and the ratty old pub, the Hogshead. Hermione saw the front page of the Daily Prophet floating across the snow. With gloved hands she caught it. The headline screamed _THE TRIAL OF SEVERUS SNAPE_. She had already read the article. It was the most publicised and intense trial shortly followed by the Malfoy's and the Lestrange's. The Prophet detailed how this was not a one day trial and how the substantial evidence to suggest that Snape was on Voldemort's side and Dumbledore's side continued to surface. The fact that he killed Dumbledore was being called into question, as new evidence of Dumbledore having some sort of illness was poking its head through. Hermione threw the paper into the nearest bin, and even though she strongly supported Snape's condemning to Azkaban she had a nagging doubt in the back of her mind.

She continued to walk up the snow-covered path to the Hogshead and pushed open the creaky old door. It was virtually empty aside from the barkeep, with his stringy grey hair, cloudy old spectacles that betrayed his brilliant blue eyes a few dirty untrustworthy looking characters scattered in corners around the place and a face that was all to familiar.

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Draco Malfoy cleaning glasses with a dirty rag behind the bar. His hair was greasy and dirty falling down into his eyes, and his cheeks were sunken in, whilst his piercing grey eyes now betrayed the one noble character. She was about to turn around and back out the door when he caught a glimpse of her and called her name beckoning her to the counter. Reluctantly she walked over and dusted off a dirty bar stool, pulling off a few of her out garments so her pink face was now exposed. She got a better look of Draco, he was tired and worn out she could tell and looked even worse than he did at the court trial – if that was possible. He looked like one touch and he would break in two; or so Hermione thought. He smiled weakly at her excited to see someone he knew she could tell he craved company.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked hopefully, Hermione shook her head although a warm drink wouldn't go amiss, "What are you doing here I thought school only went back today?" he asked meekly.

"The train arrived early, the carriages aren't ready," she said simply he nodded. There was an awkward pause Hermione did not particularly want to be there, but it was warm. "So is this where you work?"

"Yeah eight hours a day then another five of community service sometimes I have to go into the city or just around the town, sometimes I have to help Filch out at Hogwarts. I always enjoy that," he said solemnly, "I guess it is tiring but I have to do it. My mum and I live in a room upstairs. She got a job at the post office, works five days a week. I guess it keeps food on the table no matter a minimal it might be," he added. Hermione marvelled at how humbled he had become, perhaps the destruction of his life threw everything into perspective. She nodded weakly then looked at her watch nearly time to head back.

"It was…er…good to see you," she said uncomfortably, "Good luck with everything," she added with false emotion and enthusiasm. Draco didn't seem to notice. He beamed at her thankful for the company.

"Do feel free to come back anytime! It was great to talk to you," he said genuinely making Hermione feel even more uncomfortable. She half-smiled and began to re-button her coat and headed out the door and back down the path. As she trudged through the snow she could swear that she saw a woman out of the corner of her eye walk along side her, giggling like a little girl. But when she turned her head fully to get a look there was nothing there, she came to the conclusion it was the light reflecting against the snow. But then again, she had always been told she had a closed mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Had I known

Hermione wandered the dark dimly lit corridor on the fourth floor. Checking her watch she noted that it was ten minutes to twelve, soon the new seventh year Slytherin prefect would meet her and she could get some sleep. Blaise Zambini had been roped into prefect position after Draco Malfoy was expelled from Hogwarts. Hermione never really knew Zambini, for a Slytherin he seemed decent enough. She shivered as the cold winter air chilled her, the open windows revealing the beautiful winter night sky. It was a clear and very cold night and Hermione wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in bed sheets in the warmth of the Gryffindor dormitory.

All night whilst wandering the cold corridors Hermione had been pondering her meeting with Malfoy. He had seemed so thrilled to see her and she had no idea why. All through school he had always treated her with utter contempt teasing her calling her rude names. He had even continued to have a slightly chilled attitude towards her when he was in hiding with the Order. Had those few nights he had spent in Azkaban prior to the trial and his subsequent punishment really made a difference to his outlook and his attitudes towards everyone around him? Perhaps he had realized that life was too short to waste on hating people and being angry. If only Hermione could realize the truth in that thought.

A much more curious thought however, was that of the mysterious figure who appeared next to her in the snow. It had only been a fleeting glance but the more Hermione thought about it the more she realized is was not a reflection of light on the gleaming snow, that the laugh was not just an echo from the village. There was a woman moving beside her in the snow; a ghost perhaps. But where did she come from? More importantly where did she go?

Hermione found herself at the place where she was to meet Blaise Zambini she was slightly early so sat at the foot of a statue and looked out the windowless frame.

"Cold night huh? They should have heating in the stones in this castle," said a melodic unfamiliar female voice from beside Hermione. Sharply jumping up from her seat and letting out a little yelp Hermione turned to see where she was sitting and was met by a beautiful woman, who smiled genuinely at Hermione. "Sorry to surprise you," she said seeing Hermione's fright. Clutching her chest Hermione breathed in the cold night air with sharp shallow breath. Where on earth did this woman come from? She was too fleshy to be a ghost, but surely she couldn't be human.

"I definitely need some sleep," Hermione muttered to herself, turning away from the woman thinking she must be hallucinating. She rudely began off down the hallway when the woman jumped up from her seat with grace and agility and began to trail Hermione.

"Wait where are you going?" she called, her voice echoing off the stonewalls. Hermione ignored her, determined to believe she didn't exist except in her mind. "You can't storm off on me again," the woman said, causing Hermione to suddenly stop and turn around. Hermione looked up, the mysterious woman was about a head taller than her, she had very long silky curly blond hair, long lean limbs draped in a Grecian style dress-exposing parts of her back and shoulders. She was youthful in appearance, there was a spring in her step and energy exuberated from her pores. She seemed to embody all the aspects of life and fertility or wealth, bright coloured flowers in her hair and her flowing gown suggested as if she was a personification of spring. Her skin was golden and glittered in the scattered moonlight. Her face was a sculptured work of art, her lips full and the most supple shade of pink, her eyebrows thin and high arched, the bone on her face strong like her resolution and her nose was small and perfectly suited to her face. But her eyes seemed to betray her youthful, playful appearance. They were the deepest blue and suggested age and wisdom, like they had seen the stages of the world. What a remarkable contradiction.

She gave Hermione a quizzical look then smiled warmly revealing a perfect set of pearly white straight teeth. She was so wonderfully perfect it was unnatural, as if she was above human, like she was a higher being from the heavens closer to perfection than any mortal could hope for. Then Hermione had a thought.

"What do you mean again?" she asked, the woman shifted her eyes and had a cheeky smile across her face as if she was some little girl who had done something wrong.

"Well…" she trailed off, but Hermione had already come to her conclusion.

"So it wasn't just my eyes playing a trick on me, you _were_ beside me in the snow," she said narrowing her eyes. The woman gave a hearty laugh, the same as the one she had heard in Hogsmeade. Hermione hastily looked around hoping that no one had heard her. She went to grab the woman's arm half hoping she would grab nothing but air, yet in her hand she felt soft, warm flesh. Avoiding an obvious long pause she gently pulled the woman into an empty alcove scared that Blaise would appear at any moment.

"He won't see me, only you can see me," the woman said gently as Hermione released her hand.

"So you are just a figment of my imagination?" Hermione said darkly. The woman smiled and shook her head.

"They could see me, but I don't want them to. I came here to see you, to help you," she said Hermione gave her and odd look.

"What makes you think I need help?" she snapped in a snide tone surprising the woman slightly. She frowned.

"I don't think you understand, Hermione you are treading down a very lonely path at the moment, pushing away people who want to help you," she said quietly. Hermione scrutinized her without a word.

"Who are you?" she finally asked rather briskly. The woman warmed to her question.

"My name is Eirene," she said curtsying gracefully then sidestepped out of the alcove around Hermione. She seemed to float along the ground her bare feet hardly touching the cold stone. Hermione watched as she began to dance gracefully around in an almost practiced routine whilst continuing to speak, "I am spring, rebirth, wealth, life and love. I am the patron of all those young at heart. I make the flowers dance as they grown and the waters sing as the bubble out of the frost. I am peace. And I have come to help you Hermione Granger, even though I am not supposed to, before you bury yourself in a pile of misery and heartache," she said finishing up by clasping Hermione's hands gently. Her cheeks were rosy from the movement and her hair and skirts gently fell back down as she stopped moving. Hermione's breath was short. For once in her life she was totally lost for words. If this was who she thought it was she…she couldn't even imagine how she would react.

"Are you ok?" she asked as Hermione just stared at her. Shaking herself out of her state of confusion and disbelief she spoke.

"Sorry…um…ah. Nice to meet you," she said with and awkward and uncomfortable smile on her face, Eirene continued to hold Hermione's hands in her own, they were surprisingly warm compared to the cold temperature.

"Your friend is almost here I will visit you again?" she asked hopefully Hermione just smiled and nodded. The woman vanished leaving nothing but the scent of spring where she had once stood. Hermione stared at the place Eirene had stood, her mouth slightly opened.

"I must be loosing my mind," she muttered to herself.

"Well you are talking to yourself, that is the first sign of insanity," Blaise said as he swaggered up to Hermione a mischievous grin, only one that could belong to a school boy playing across his handsome face, "closely followed by looking for hair on the palm of hand. The ultimate sign of insanity is finding said hair on you palm," he concluded coming to a stop in front of Hermione. Hermione gave him a look of disinterest. He frowned, not pleased she did not find him funny.

"You are to continue patrolling the fourth, fifth and sixth floor corridors. Careful Peeves is running around. I caught a couple of fifth years sneaking around the charms classroom trying to get in to romp on the cushions I suspect. But nothing too out of the ordinary," she said in a bored tone, masking her utter bewilderment at the meeting before. Blaise nodded.

He was quite handsome, his hair was long, dark and fell thick across his face, he brushed it aside just above his eyes. They were a wonderful deep shade of brown that seemed to bury into the souls of those he looked at, although Hermione suspected he wasn't too interested in what other people were thinking. His jaw was square and strong, softened however by his soft lips that curled into a handsome grin. Sun kisses were scattered across his perfect nose. Blaise was quite tall and well built and his skin as pale as it was during the winter seemed to glow, it was rumoured he had done some modeling with his mother. He had an edgy hardcore look about him that was unique and unlike anyone else in the school. He could be compared to the young Sirius Black, the quiet laid back guy who always got his way.

"Sounds like a piece of cake," he said smirking. Hermione raised her eyebrow he hadn't really understood the whole responsibility thing. She suspected if he saw a group of girls sneaking around off to another dormitory or meeting up at one of the secret clubs that seemed to pop up everywhere he would seduce them and take them to a classroom. He certainly would not deduct house points or put them on detention.

"Here are you detention slips should you meet any students out of bed, keep your wits about you sometimes nasty things appear in the castle. Oh and watch for Moaning Myrtle, she is roaming around up on the sixth floor. Heaven's knows why she usually never leaves the second floor girls bathroom. Have a good night," Hermione said with a sigh, she was tired. As she turned to walk away Blaise grabbed her arm and was met by a serious look on his usually relaxed face.

"I am sorry about Harry," he said empathetically, Hermione half smiled, "I am truly thankful for everything he did," Hermione turned from him and began to head up to the Gryffindor tower. Had Blaise been at all affected by Voldemort and the war? She supposed he had, as he hadn't been seen at school for over a month just before Christmas break. She did not think too deeply on it yet let her mind return to Eirene the mysterious woman who appeared to her saying she had come to help her. But help her from what? There was nothing to fear any more the world was safe, Hermione was in the safest place she could be. There were other people who no doubt needed her help more than Hermione did, she was just in mourning she knew it would pass soon enough.

There was something about her that was mythic above wizarding magic perhaps she was an angel. Maybe the reason only Hermione could see her was that she was her guardian angel; wouldn't that be a treat. Hermione had always mused over the idea of angels especially archangels and guardian angels. When she was little, alone after school having no friends to play with, she used to pretend she was talking to the angels it was a way to escape from her solitude and childhood misery. Maybe after loosing Harry she was returning to that childhood state of mind, yet Eirene was not a Christian ideal of an angel, she was something else and so _real_.

As Hermione climbed under the covers she repeated Eirene's introduction over herself over and over _I am spring, rebirth, wealth, life and love…_ What could that mean? And why wasn't she supposed to help her? Hermione thought she remember reading something in an old history textbook but the thought quickly slipped from her mind as she drifted into a long awaited sleep. For the first time in a long time she did not think of Harry dying but saw flowers sprouting and entwining around themselves the beautiful pale spring colours dancing before her to the sound of laughter and the smell of a million wonderful things.

**(A/N:**

**Hey so there is another chapter sorry it was a bit longer. I like to use a fandom Blaise rather than canon, you know the really hot one who is mates with Malfoy. Not sure if they are friends yet but in any case I actually based him off this banner I found of Draco, Hermione and Blaise and the guy portraying Blaise is really handsome. Anyway please review and let me know what you think. Thanks.)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six - Try to slip past his defense

Yet Eirene did not come back. Each day for at least three weeks Hermione wandered the halls of the ancient school hoping the spring goddess would appear beside her. She watched as the snow receded revealing the lush green grass and the snow-capped trees shook off their winter cloaks. Students had begun to roam around the grounds welcoming the warmer weather. Boys and girls holding hands, kids playing football and Quidditch teams starting up again; yet no sign of Eirene. Slowly Hermione began to push their meeting further and further into the back of her mind. Although every so often she would wake up to the smell of flowers, a different one each day and as she turned over in her bed she would see a colourful vase on her bedside table the flowers changing continually that seemed to shimmer and glow even without darting sunlight. It was always a pleasant surprise to wake up to this in the morning however, when she mentioned anything to the girls sharing her room they gave her an odd bemused look and turned away laughing. She came to the conclusion they could not see them, or she really was going insane, and decided to stop mentioning it. In fact she stopped talking to people in general, preferring her own company and thoughts to others (as unhealthy as it was).

She had become a total social recluse disappearing within the crowd normally flanked in all black clothing, keeping her head down averting prying eyes. Hermione had not spoken to Ron in almost a month and thus found herself sitting in the far corner of the classroom bent closely over her parchment trying not to let her mind drift away from the subject at hand. Her emersion in schoolwork and her prefect duty had left her worn out she had almost forgotten how to speak to people. People watched as she moved through the halls ever so silently trapped in her own little world of mourning, misery and friendlessness. Yet she just ignored them, their whispers – it was her final year of school and she had no time for frivolous relationships such as the ones she had once invested in. It had only taken Hermione a few short weeks and she had been dubbed the beautiful weirdo.

Hermione did however; find herself watching people move through their lives around her. She often felt stuck in a time warp hoping Harry would walk through the Great Hall doors, even though she knew he never would. And as she watched people she realized how remarkable they could be and how much of a relief it was she was distant from those worlds of love, hate and all the emotions in between.

She seemed to watch Ron, Ginny and strangely enough Blaise Zambini the most. She noticed how Ron now walked around the school and with one glance could scare a small group of first years into carrying his books. His hair was long and disheveled, his brow permanently furrowed in anger and frustration. As the year pressed on, the winter snow melted and so did Ron's gentle friendly nature, all that was left was an angry teenage boy, who with his small group of followers prowled the castle corridors and picked fights with those they did not like for no real reason. Hermione had never seen someone receive so many detentions in one week; she secretly worried that sooner rather than later he would be suspended or expelled. She watched him from her little corners around the school her fringe totally out of control and falling down into her face, and could almost see the imaginary wall that he had built up around himself. Even his posse of Seamus, Dean, Terry Boot and another Ravenclaw Michael Rothberg were shut out of Ron's little destructive world. He preyed on Slytherin's, even when they had done nothing wrong abusing his prefect position. Frequently Hermione saw him being dragged away by his friends blood running down his face, yet she looked at his opponent and realized they were the worse off. It was even rumoured he had started a fight club. However, she never approached him just peered through her curtain of hair her stomach fluttering as she remembered how they walked the halls and he would kiss her on the nose with such affection it made her want to cry.

It was one chilly spring Sunday morning when Ginny first approached Hermione. They had not spoken in nearly a month and as she walked into the Great hall, her skin glowing and red hair streaming down her back she noticed Hermione sitting at the very end of the Gryffindor table near the teacher's table. No one came within two metres of her it seemed as she just sat and stared out of the far window an old book open in front of her. Ginny wondered what had happened to the once strong willed intelligent girl who would speak up and never let her friends down. Now all that was left was an empty shell it appeared. She marveled at how such a catastrophic event could change a person so quickly. Ginny slowly began to move down the table smiling and greeting friends along the way until she stood just behind Hermione.

She didn't even notice the fiery redhead standing behind her yet continued to stare out the crystal window anticipating the morning post. Although she knew she would not get any mail anyway. When Ginny spoke ever so gently Hermione jumped in surprise half expecting it to be Eirene.

"May I sit here?" she simply asked, Hermione shrugged and nodded then proceeded to scrutinize Ginny. Clearly there was no reason she would _want_ to sit next to her previous friend, after the treatment Hermione had inflicted on Ron back on the Hogwarts Express. But Ginny just smiled warmly at Hermione as if there was nothing wrong, no judgment entered the young woman's eyes, she just looked sympathetic.

"How on earth can you see out of the fringe of yours?" Ginny finally said with a grin after she began munching down on a piece of toast. Hermione smiled weakly at the comment. This was nice, talking to another human being.

"Hermione I have a favour to ask of you," Ginny said slightly seriously that worried Hermione a tad.

"What is it?" she croaked not used to speaking. Ginny did not look up at Hermione.

"Well, I know we haven't spoken in a while, but above all the people I know I trust you the most. I," there was a pause whilst Ginny collected her thoughts, Hermione looked at her intently wondering what the problem could possibly be.

"Take your time," she said in an encouraging way. Ginny half smiled at Hermione. She looked at the head girl, she was once uniquely beautiful but now, she was just a mess. Her hair was in desperate need of a cut, she had straightened it yes, but it was tangled and all over the place. Her cheeks were drained of colour, leaving her face hollow and lifeless emphasized by the dark circles under her eyes. And Ginny looked at her disheveled clothing, totally black and tragic. She understood she was still in mourning yet, why draw that much attention to yourself? It was way to predictable but never the less she needed her help.

"I think I'm pregnant," Ginny said causing Hermione to choke on her own breath. Ginny looked at her in disbelief as Hermione eyes began watering from coughing whilst she reached for the goblet of water. Hermione could not believe it, yet she did not believe in sex before marriage so the fact that Ginny had even…it was far too much to handle in one go.

"You think? How could you not _know_?" Hermione questioned quietly, "How could you let yourself get pregnant, oh Ginny," she said worried giving the younger girl a sympathetic look.

"Well I haven't done a test or anything but, I missed my period and these weird things have been happening to my body. All I want to do is sleep and eat, I can barely handle the smell of half the food at dinner. I even have been skipping dinner in here and grabbing a bite from the kitchens because I feel like I might be sick from the smells. My body is doing things that I just don't understand and I think it might be because I am pregnant," Ginny said solemnly, Hermione listened intently and laid a hand on Ginny's, it was the first human contact she had had in a long time.

"Have you told anyone else?" Hermione asked Ginny shook her head, breathing deeply Hermione looked at the girl sympathetically, "Well what do you want to do?" she eventually said.

"Well next weekend is a leave weekend, perhaps you could apparate with me into London to go and get a test done?" she asked, Hermione nodded her head, even though it was a strict rule not to leave Hogsmeade on their weekend visits. However, Ginny had come to Hermione and for the first time in a long time she felt like this was something worth sticking her neck out for.

"Do I dare ask who the father could be?" Hermione mused yet Ginny gave her a very firm and serious look.

"Harry," she said and there was silence. Hermione was instantly thrown off her toast and just stared out the window. That had been a shock, but somehow she knew it was his. They remained in silence for the rest of the meal as the post fluttered down and people waved to Ginny. Hermione caught Blaise Zambini looking at her from the next table but as soon as she did he turned away. The rest of the day was a blur.

Hermione remained nervous for the rest of the week. What would happen if Ginny were pregnant? Would she keep it? What would her parents say? She had been so worried and distracted thinking about Ginny that frequently she ran into stationary objects or people and for the first time was slipping slowly behind in homework. By Thursday night she realized she had been so unproductive and inattentive all week that she had three essays due the very next day that had not been researched or written. It was finally at two-thirty in the morning when her candle was almost extinguished that Eirene came.

Hermione took a good ten seconds to register that there was someone standing next to her desk and another ten seconds to recognize whom it was. She exhaled very dramatically slightly startled by the appearance of the beautiful woman who just smiled warmly at Hermione.

"I thought you were never coming back," Hermione finally said turning slightly in her chair to face Eirene.

"I said I would, now seemed like the perfect time," she said sweetly. Eirene looked around the common room. It was completely empty and rather chilly the fire struggling to stay alive on its embers. And then there was Hermione huddled at an old writing desk shrouded by darkness barely enough light coming from the little desk lamp, her eyes blank and vacant drained of expression and emotion dark rings forming under her eyes. She had had many sleepless nights and it was obvious. The fuller figured Eirene saw the frail girl sitting before her and wondered to what limits she had been pushing her body?

"Well what do you want this time? I am very busy I have another essay to write before tomorrow," Hermione said briskly.

"Are you even sure you will make it until tomorrow? Hermione you have to go to bed now, you desperately need sleep. There is no point writing these essays now and running yourself into the ground because they aren't going to be any good anyway," she said flatly. Hermione was slightly shocked and hurt by Eirene comment, of course her essays would be good. They always were.

"I have to hand them in, otherwise – " she didn't finish her remark realizing she didn't know the consequence of not handing in her work.

"You don't know do you. I am sure the teachers will understand after all it is only homework," Eirene said and with a cock of her head all the paper and books of Hermione's desk had disappeared. Hermione gave a little squeal of anguish…all her work was gone.

"What did you do?" she said ridiculously distraught, "Bring it back I have to finish!" she said quite loudly rising from her seat swaying slightly the sudden rush of blood giving her a head spin. Eirene put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You need sleep and food, you have a big day a head of you on Saturday and you need all the strength you can get. Go to bed now," Eirene said and with a click of her fingers Hermione found herself on the soft mattress her head resting on the feathered pillow and her body covered with the warm covers she had come to know so well. With in an instant she fell asleep not even remembering the copious amount of schoolwork not done.

Hermione woke up very late the next day missing the first two periods. Yet surprisingly she wasn't concerned. Desperate for food she headed down to the kitchens and despite hating to ask for food off the little house elves she had a wonderful meal and continued to take the day at her leisure not preparing to go to class until after lunch. It was very out of character for Hermione and she suspected that Eirene had something to do with it. Possibly she had cast a relaxant spell over her and the stress of missing class had totally subsided. In the back of her mind Hermione had that nagging to go to class yet she did not feel required to submit to it. It was nice to relax and not do anything and then she ran into Ron and her day went into a head spin.

Walking along the fourth floor corridor she ran into Ron his red hair falling down into his eyes which were filled with anger and hate. Pushed up against the wall in front of him was the handsome Blaise who had a steely look in his eyes yet terror was written across his face. Picking up her pace a little she couldn't here the snide remarks being exchanged between the two boys yet stopped in her tracks when Ron suddenly swung a punch right across Blaise's face blood spurting from the new gash and his nose. As she got closer it was clear there was something on Ron's knuckles, which made the punches all the more deadly. He took another swing and Hermione began to cry out to him to stop yet he didn't here. Blaise fell to the floor coughing up blood when Ron proceed to kick and continue punching him. Without thinking Hermione grabbed Ron's shoulders and tried to pull him off the Slytherin, although that probably wasn't the smartest idea. Feeling her grip yet not recognising her voice Ron swung around and smacked Hermione in the side of the face. Pain seared through her head as she fell to the ground blood mixing with tears down her cheeks.

Ron stopped when he saw whom he had hit but before he could do or say anything Hermione had her wand out and was stunning him back against the wall. Students all began gathering around the three and Madame Pomfrey was quickly called to take all of them to the hospital wing. Fear mixed quickly with pain as Hermione saw how limp and lifeless Blaise was. Blaise was confined to the hospital wing for at least three days after the discovery of broken ribs, a shattered nose and a cracked eye-socked. Hermione was totally bewildered that her gentle Ron could do such damage and as it turned out with no valid cause.

McGonagall had quizzed Hermione and Ron endlessly that Friday and much to Hermione's horror (despite the situation and her expectations) the headmistress brought the hammer down and Ron was subsequently suspended for an unspecified time.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven – Pray to god

By the time Saturday morning rolled around Hermione had barely got an hour sleep. Her mind had been racing with the events of the day. As she touched her cut and bruised cheek she remembered the look of longing in Ron's eyes as he was escorted out of the castle. It had been such a shock to her to see him so angry and upset attacking Blaise for the only reason that he was there.

Rolling out of bed she peered through the window beside her bed it was a clear day but she could not fathom enjoying it. Slipping into a pair of black jeans, scoop neck black t-shirt and throwing a black blazer she had found amongst her washing one day she took a quick look in the mirror. Coming closer the dark rings under eyes contrasted against her pale skin, yet the predominant feature now on her face was the large gash below her left eye. The skin around the red slice mark was pink and swollen; it was so tender and painful. She exhaled heavily and arranged her hair so that it swept across her face and partially covered the gash, although she had little success.

Walking down the stairs she caught a few third year girls, excited about their trip to Hogsmeade scrutinizing Hermione. She gave them a quick look and they turned back to their excited chatter and she continued walking stuffing her hands into her pockets. She shuffled down to the Great Hall not taking her eyes off the floor her mind buzzing with the possible outcomes of the day. As she arrived at the Gryffindor table she saw Ginny chatting happily to a few girl from her year and puzzled how she could be so happy on a day like this, a day where she would be finding out a result that could change her life forever. What Hermione didn't realise was that Ginny did not see the out come of today as a be all and end all, rather a huge step that she could overcome with great skill and grace. Well that is what she kept telling herself.

Hermione sat a little further down from Ginny who gave her a sympathetic look seeing the large cut across her face. Hermione turned away slightly embarrassed by the attention the gash was bringing her. All around there were whispers about what happened between Ron and Blaise and how Hermione had jumped in and was subsequently injured. She began to ignore their whispers and snatched an abandoned Daily Prophet and tried to munch down on some food yet all the while thought she was going to be sick from nerves.

As she unfolded the front page her past potions master's face stared blankly at her, his black eyes dull and lifeless his hair stringy and falling about his face. He looked like Hermione felt, a corpse lifeless, empty. She began to read the article it had come to the ministries attention that Snape killing Dumbledore was an act of compassion as the old headmaster was ill and dying. No one gave word of where this piece of explicit information had come from. Hermione pondered the thought in her mind, had Dumbledore been dying? There was no doubt in her mind he had been ill all through her sixth year. So had he confided in Snape trusting him with something that no one else knew? It was not impossible. The more Hermione read about the case for and against Snape the more she began to believe that he was honestly innocent.

Breaking her from her thoughts was a tap on her shoulder. Ginny was smiling at her, Hermione jumped slightly at the touch.

"Does it hurt?" Ginny asked sitting down and referring to the gash on Hermione's cheek. Subconsciously Hermione touched it lightly with her fingertips and shrugged in response.

"You ready for today?" She asked quietly not wanting to draw attention. Ginny nodded.

"I have to go into the post office first, but then I shall meet you at the Hogshead yeah?" Ginny confirmed.

"Sounds good," Hermione said fidgeting with the sleeves of her blazer. Ginny looked her up and down. All dark clothing, long hair acting as a curtain over her eyes and around her face she looked like the quintessential goth or emo. It was rather predictably tragic.

"Why are you wearing black it is such a lovely day?" Ginny said as cheerily as she could. Hermione looked at her as if she had muttered some blasphemous remark.

"On a day like today in times like this it is the only colour appropriate," Hermione muttered in response. Ginny just shook her head and took that as her cue to leave. Hermione watched as she walked down the table and out the doors. She walked alone to Hogsmeade and for the first time realized how ostracised she had become and on her own accord as well. However, it did not trouble her as much as it should or would on a normal basis she was more worried about apparating Ginny to and from London without getting caught.

The sun beat down on her black clad back and she felt rather warm, although did nothing to cool herself down not really seeing any point she was going to have to carry the jacket anyway. As she walked away from the giddy school children that entered the main street she saw the old creaky Hogshead just up the top of the lane. Looking over her shoulder she spied out for Ginny but she wasn't coming yet. Hermione found it so remarkable Ginny could be so happy and friendly on a day where her future would be laid out in black and white. Although Hermione was closed minded.

As Hermione brought her head back over her shoulder she jumped in fright her heart skipping a beat. Eirene was standing there in her long flowing robes with a kind smile on her face. They were the total opposite in everyway at that point in time.

"You need to give me some warning before you just turn up like that you know," Hermione said gruffly her heart rate slowing down. As she pushed past Eirene the goddess caught step and walked beside her.

"I thought you might like a little pick me up, I know what you and Ginny are doing today and after the events of yesterday I know you probably aren't feeling the best. Here have this it will brighten you mood and make you feel better," she said bringing out a small vial full of a golden liquid with rose pink streaks swirling throughout it. Hermione looked at it for a long time before taking it whilst Eirene gazed over the gash on her face.

"I still can't figure out why he would do something like that," Hermione said wistfully realising the woman was looking at the swollen cut on her face. "Not just to me but to anyone. Sure Ron was always a bit hot headed but he only would flare up if someone provoked him and the thing is no one has been provoking him," Eirene took a moment to construct her response.

"From what I can gather, this is just the way Ron is dealing with Harry's death. Many people become violent and aggressive when dealing with loss, don't get me wrong it is not healthy but sometimes common. Teenagers especially in my experience seem to go off the rails when someone really close to them has died," she said empathetically as they neared the pub.

"But Ginny and I and other boys all who loved Harry dearly didn't act like that, don't act like that," Hermione said confused and frustrated.

"Ginny is a remarkable woman who sees this positive in the situation rather than the negative and cherishes her memories of Harry. Notice what her answer is when she gets the pregnancy results," Eirene said, choosing not to assess Hermione's reaction to Harry's death. "Be strong Hermione, drink that vial, it will all turn out alright. And don't wear so much black," she added with a smile and disappeared leaving only a flicker of colour behind.

Hermione looked at the vial in her hand but stuffed it into her pocket and pushed open the ratty door of the Hogshead. Instantly she regretted arranging to meet there because she remembered this was the residence as well as workplace of Draco Malfoy. It had been nearly over a month since their last encounter and she wasn't entirely sure if she was up for another one. Nevertheless she entered the old tavern and took up a seat at a table hidden in the corner. Looking up at the bar she saw Draco going through the paces, he hadn't noticed her come in. He was skinnier than she remembered, is cheeks hollow. There was no emotion exuberating from his eyes just blank. She felt sorry for him he must be exhausted.

Then she saw her walking down the stairs; one of the prettiest girls Hermione had ever seen in her life. She was tall and blond with grey blue eyes to match Draco's and a pair of full red lips with the most seductive kiss in the corner. Her curly hair fell around her face and over her shoulders. She was lean wearing a polo shirt and skinny leg jeans. She was super model quality, yet would not smile. Then Hermione saw something that gave her quite a start the girl met Draco at the bottom of the starts and smiled as he placed a delicate kiss on her lips; and if you looked closely his blank eyes lit up with excitment.

Why on earth would a lovely looking girl see in a prosecuted criminal? It befuddled Hermione yet she kept her opinion to herself. As the girl walked out the front door she gave a passing glance over Hermione taking in her dark clothing, her brooding expression, long out of control hair and large gash across her face with her almond shaped eyes. Hermione watched her go yet was quickly brought back from reality when an eerily cheery Draco called her name.

"Granger! What are you doing here?" he asked coming over to her hiding place, a look of worry (much to Hermione's surprise) came across his face, "What happened?"

"I was the victim of a fight," she said not wanting him to read into it too much.

"Are you ok? It looks painful," he said craning his head to get a better look, yet Hermione just turned away.

"Your friend Blaise looks worse," she said roughly.

"Blaise? Blaise was hurt?"

"Yeah pretty bad, he is still in the Hospital Wing," she added. Draco look bewildered but before he could speak Hermione continued, "Who was she?" She felt as surprised as Draco looked with her question. Something about it didn't taste right.

"That is Anja, my girlfriend she works at the post office with my mother that is how I know her. She is alone, she ran away from her family in Russia you see. So mother started inviting her over and well we found comfort in the fact that we were both social outcasts," he said taking a seat opposite Hermione.

"Right," she said simply initiating a very pregnant silence.

"How are you? You know about Harry? I don't mean to pry but I have heard things," he said eventually but before Hermione could rudely retort Ginny opened the front door. Hermione quickly ran to her side brushing past Draco who was thrown off balance. He spun around to see whom Hermione had run to and found Ginny peering over Hermione's shoulder to get a look at Draco. He wondered what they were up to.

"Lets get out of here ASAP," Hermione said dragging Ginny back out the front door and down past the pub into a more inconspicuous area.

"Was that Malfoy? I didn't know he worked there," Ginny said curious, Hermione ignored her and quickly taking her hand the vacuum began and with a pop they were gone. Little did they know Malfoy peered out of the backroom window and saw them disappear.

Hermione hung outside the Planning Parenthood clinic after feeling suffocated inside it. She had walked the length of the street ten times nibbling on her nails even tempted to by a packet of cigarettes, even though she had never smoked before, because she was so nervous. She had discovered a church down the end of the street where she went and sat for a good half hour praying, confessing her own sins desperately hoping it would all turn out well.

They had been there for over two hours and she was anxious about getting back and the results. As she was about to turn around and do another lap of the street Ginny walked down the steps a blank look on her face. Hermione ran to her taking her shoulders expecting an answer yet she already knew the result. Ginny's face was drained of colour, her mouth dry. She tried to swallow but with little avail. Finally she found the voice to give Hermione some answer.

"I am going to be a mother," she simply said placing her hands protectively on her belly. Hermione's eyes wandered down to the girl's slender fingers and place one hand over them and tried to smile but worry was written across her face.

When they popped back outside the Hogshead it was starting to get dusky and the students began trailing back to Hogwarts laughing and chatting after a good day. The girls did not move or say anything until Ginny spoke.

"Turns out I am actually three months pregnant, I can't believe I didn't even noticed until now," She said chuckling and sighing loudly. Hermione drew her into a warm embrace.

"It will all be ok in the end," she whispered and Ginny nodded then walked away from Hermione. Before she got too far out of earshot she turned around.

"Thank you, for supporting me. I think I will be ok from here," she said smiling. Hermione nodded.

"Shall I keep it a secret?" Hermione quickly asked Ginny just shrugged and kept walking. Hermione bit her lip so hard it bled a little bit. Tasting the blood on her tongue she turned around and walked straight into the Hogshead.

**(A/N:**

**Whoop whoop. Sorry it took so long have been busy. Anyway I want to finish this quick because I have the sequel planned and I want to write that a lot more haha this one is too angsty for me. Anyway hope you like it!) **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight - I lost a friend

Blaise wandered out of the hospital wing late one night in late May. The castle was empty and so silent that the faintest whisper would resound like a shout throughout the halls bouncing gleefully off the stone walls. He had been kept away from school for almost two months after his bout with Ron. As it turn out Ron had caused more than a few flesh wounds, Blaise had suffered a rather serious head injury that temporarily affected his short-term memory. A week after the fight he had been transferred to St. Mungo's where he was treated with more intensity. His recovery time was relatively slow compared to those who usually underwent such a procedure. Blaise was thankful that Madame Pomfrey had signed him out of the hospital wing so he could sleep in his own bed. How he long for the familiar smell of his dormitory escaping the disinfectant and painful white walls of the infirmary.

As he walked through the pleasant night air a slight limp in his step he smiled at the thought of returning to school missing going to his classes, seeing people he knew. It was rather sad the thought that he had no visitors whilst he was ill, even his female admirers hadn't made and effort. He had received only a handful of get well cards. One from the Weasley's apologizing profusely for Ron's actions, one from Draco who wished he could take time off and see him and another from an unknown onlooker with very elegant handwriting. But he didn't mind the time alone allowed him to collect his thoughts, catch up on some NEWTs reading.

There was one person he had missed whilst confined to the hospital ward, one of the only people he seemed to remember. Hermione. Memories of her from the few weeks before the accident had been the only ones he had kept. Secretly he wanted to help her see seemed so depressed and isolated; she had no one to call her person. He wanted her to open up to him tell him what was wrong, talk about Harry get the horrible weight that weighed her beautiful head down off onto him. Blaise wanted to know her, carry her through the rough sea and come out alive and well on the other side. He didn't know her very well but there was something about her that made his whole world shift, when he was around her all those nights on patrol, time seemed to stop and there was no one but them. Yet he would never be the first one to admit it.

As he stuffed his scarred hands in the pockets of his tight black jeans looking only momentarily down at his black Converse shoes he did not notice the slight figure dart out of a hidden passageway behind the statue of the one eyed witch. Comically running headlong into the girl Blaise tripped and fell backwards-loosing balance on his crook leg. Pushing the long brown hair out of his eyes Blaise saw opposite him also on the ground was a very confused Hermione Granger muttering something to herself. He grinned seeing her, taking in her appearance for a moment. Her hair was long and stringy, a curtain across her beautiful brown eyes. She looked frail cloaked in all black clothing that hung from her shoulders and made her look even smaller. Despite her pallid complexion and dark circles under her eyes Blaise found there was something so majestic and so beautiful about her appearance.

Finally she looked up to she what she had run into and saw Blaise leaning back on the ground opposite her smiling handsomely. She sighed thanking Christ it wasn't a teacher; then took a double take and noticed it was Blaise. Without thinking she threw her arms around his neck shocking him but he laughed never the less.

"You're back!" she slurred happily hearing news of his condition and secretly worrying immensely. He smiled into her shoulder and patted her affectionately on the back.

"Yeah I am, glad to be too, I hate hospitals," he said laughing heartily as they broke the embrace yet stayed on the ground facing each other.

"We were all so, so worried about you!" Hermione said giggling stupidly. Blaise raised one eyebrow, but had already smelt it on her.

"Miss Granger, have you been drinking – on a school night?" Blaise asked rather seriously. Hermione gave him a very grumpy look and clumsily pushed herself up from the floor into a shaky standing position.

"What's it to you, uh, chump," she said then bent down again to pick up her bag but Blaise got there first. He couldn't help but take a peak; coin bag, lipstick, cigarettes and anti-depressants. He sighed loudly and even a drunk Hermione noticed.

"I was put on them about two weeks ago, teachers thought I needed help said I was falling behind, not myself. Its at bull shit if you ask me," she said snatching the bag off Blaise reaching in an lighting up a cigarette. Uneasily getting up off the floor Blaise stood in front of her with a worried look on his face.

"What happened to you Hermione, you were never like this," Blaise said softly. Hermione laughed hollowly.

"How would you know? You don't know anything about me," she said stumbling past him sucking on the cigarette all the while. Blaise quickly followed her and grabbed her arm softly. She turned around sharply throwing him off tossing her bag to the ground and cried out loudly. Blaise looked around hoping to all hell that no one heard her.

"Calm down Hermione you don't want to wake the whole castle up," he said quickly. She just spun around on the spot and looked at him her eyes filling up with tears. Blaise looked at her and wanted to reach out and hold her in solace yet restrained himself.

"You know it is exactly five months since Harry died," she choked a large lump in her throat not permitting her to swallow. "In two weeks he should be doing NEWTs with us and in, in less than a month he should be a father," she stuttered tears staining her face. Blaise was shocked and bit his lip seeing the girl's body shake. "Ginny's having a baby, a baby Blaise without a father! What kind of person would do that?" she said softly giving in and sinking to her knees.

"Hermione you can't do this to yourself," he said empathetically kneeling besides her bringing her into his arms. She sobbed hopelessly on his shoulder.

"Why not? I lost a friend,"

**A/N:**

**Yeah it is short sorry I kept going but thought it would work better in another chapter so that one is coming up with this one. Review la la la**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - Break

It was in that moment that many things changed. Hermione realized how much she needed someone and Blaise realized how much he loved her, without even knowing it. Yet they did not speak for a long time after that night, neither was really ready to admit it. Blaise was ejected back into school life everything for him seemed normal. Yet he moved as if in a daze watching Hermione out of the corner of his eyes, walking in her ever-thinning shadow feeling her cold stare whenever he reached out to try and help.

The Head Girl continued to move in a daze, a ghost of what she once was. Sure she still had the smarts, yet didn't care anymore didn't both with school just walked through watching everyone move on with their lives continually stuck in a time wharp. She saw how people dotted on Ginny the girl who pregnant with Harry's child and the farewell she was given at the end of May due any week. How Hermione envied her, wishing she had the strength to move on. Perhaps that is why she kept going back to the Hogshead and found comfort in Draco Malfoy.

Since that day in Hogsmeade Hermione had become a regular customer at the Hogshead. It was odd no one even knew about their relationship she would talk and he would listen. She was thankful for him, he didn't judge just poured the drinks and listened to her complain about everything.

Surprisingly enough they had become friends. It was a weird and twisted friendship but there was a mutual respect between them now. It was odd how from such hatred something so secret and delicate could flourish. Their friendship was fragile and could break at any moment yet they treaded with soft cat like steps around the edges; ignoring those things about each other they hated the most. Something had happened that day Ginny found out she was pregnant, something with the way Hermione felt about Anja then Draco's girlfriend that changed her perception of him. The rest is history.

A week after her drunken outburst to Blaise Hermione found herself at the bottom her third Gin and Tonic and noticing something rather off about Draco. The past months of drowning her sorrows and killing her lungs had resulted in Hermione having an acute awareness when it came to the moods of Draco Malfoy. Something was very wrong.

"Malfoy, refill!" she called from the end of the counter tossing changed in payment. He ignored her busy with something else not wanted to deal with the drunken fool who always found her way into his head. "Ferret boy!"

"Would you shut up!" he cried frustrated. It was late one night and the bar was empty all those with two wits returning to the comfort of their homes and family; comforts Hermione and Draco didn't seem to share with the rest of the world.

"Don't you talk to me like that! I am a paying customer," she said standing up from her seat and walking to the other end of the bar and staring him straight in the eyes.

"I don't have time for your crap today Granger," he said dangerously low. For the first time that night she noticed how puffy his eyes were as if he had been crying.

"What did your girlfriend break up with you?" She said hauntingly not a particular fan of Anja the Russian beauty. He didn't answer immediately.

"You know we ended a month ago," he said softly. Hermione was silent she realized she had struck a nerve.

"Then what's wrong?" she asked with unfamiliar worry. Draco didn't look at her.

"My mother died," he said dropping the glass he was holding and sliding to the ground next to the shards. Hermione quickly ran around the counter and knelt beside him.

"I – I am so sorry I had no idea –" she started but he cut her off.

"You know, you come in here everyday and I listen to you whine and complain, of course you had no idea. My mother has been sick for over a year now, breast cancer, and since we lost everything I have been struggling with her medical bill…and…and…I lost her last night. Not even magic could save her – how fucked up is that," he said whipping the tears from under his eyes. "You have no idea how lucky you are Hermione, you have a family to go home to, you have a future. I don't have anything," he said solemnly. And with that she kissed him.

It was strange how moments of such intensity can bring out true feelings in a person.

Hermione would never in a million years have succumb to her inner most feelings and do something crazy like kiss her sworn enemy. But what was remarkable was that he kissed back. When they broke a part Hermione was on the verge of tears realizing how selfish she had been.

"I am so sorry, I didn't ever even take the time to see how you were doing," she said placing his hands in hers and was surprised that he didn't pull away.

"Its ok you have been through a lot," he said softly.

"No it's not ok. I come here and complain about how terrible my life is, I sit on that bar stool and drink until I can't see but I realize I have been blind all along. I have been so self absorbed with my own misery and making it out to more that it really is. I am alive, that is all I should be thankful for. I have my family and people who want to help. God I am a terrible person," Hermione said weeping hiding her head in her hands. Draco shifted around and cradled her in his arms. Something had grown in the past months between them and finally they admitted it. They comforted each other, complimented each other. He kissed her curly brown hair and everything changed. It was at that moment Hermione broke and realised Harry was gone and she had to let him go.

**AN:**

**I am bored and want to finish this so short chapters from now on yep yep**

**Hey Koshking777 – I love blaise so much like fandom blaise he is my favourite it is a pity I can't be bothered any more because I would write so much more for him. hahaha**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten – Wonder

Hermione did not tell anyone of her newfound source of happiness as she was trying to come to terms with it herself. It had come so out of the blue, there he was in all his vulnerability and she realized how she really felt. Was it something that had always been there, an underlying tension both emotional and sexual that had existed since the day they met? A magnetism that just drove them together through all the fighting until there was no anger left, no hate, no misery just love. And as she marvelled at the way they had come together finally she found herself smiling to herself when she walked the halls receiving odd stares from everyone around her. They all believed that she was truly insane. The change in Hermione Granger had been noticed and people began spreading rumours that she was on drugs and such. Questions were asked yet no answers were given.

By the time of the NEWTs exams the hot gossip of Hermione Granger returning to her old busy self had died down. Hermione smiled more and she liked it. As she sat down to her first exam she felt confident and ready to go until…

"Miss Granger, may I please steal Miss Granger it is a matter of urgency," Professor McGonagall called loudly from the back of the Great Hall. All the Arithmacy students turned from McGonagall to Hermione wondering what was wrong. Hermione shook her head and quickly made her way out of the hall. Instantly she began to worry that something was wrong with Draco.

"Professor what is wrong?" she asked quickly as they began walking to the headmistresses office.

"You have been called into London, it appears Miss Weasley is in labour and demands you by her side," McGonagall said with a hint of disapproval. Hermione beamed. Ginny was having her baby and asked for Hermione to be there. After all the drama and angst that had surrounded Hermione the past few months she was surprised that Ginny or any of the Weasley's would want her anywhere near them.

"Quickly Miss Granger, you are to travel by Floo that has been set up especially for this occasion," McGonagall said inviting Hermione into the ornate fireplace. Hermione could not stop grinning, "Tell Miss Weasley the school sends her our best wishes," McGonagall added with a warm smile on her worn face.

"I will," Hermione said and in a flash of green she was gone. The sensation of whizzing through the Floo Network and the excitement creating butterflies in Hermione's stomach was almost too much to handle. She cried out in joy as she flew past fireplace after fireplace. When she got to the hospital she instantly saw the crowd of red hair pacing up and down in the waiting room. Stepping out of the fireplace Ron was the first one to notice her, she saw the look of resentment on his face and she knew she should be disappointed in him yet her excitement could not be contained and she ran over and embraced him.

"Hermione…wha…wha…?" He was stumped for words she just smiled at him.

"Shhh. We have both been boneheads this year," she said giggling at her choice of words, "Today is for Ginny," and with that she ran around the room and embraced all those she knew; the entire Weasley clan, including Fleur, and a few add ons – Remus and Tonks (her own pregnant belly protruding). Suddenly Molly Weasley opened the doors a worried look on her face. Everyone ran forward in anticipation.

"It Hermione here? Come on dear you are needed immediately," she said frantically Hermione did as she was told.

"Is there any news?" Arthur asked quickly. Molly gravely shook her head and dragged Hermione deep into the maternity ward.

"Mrs. Weasley, what's happened?" Hermione asked suddenly worried.

"The baby is early and there are some complications," Molly said rushing through the linoleum corridors. Hermione had to jog slightly to keep her pace.

"What do you mean? How early? I thought she was due in late June that is what the test said when we got it done," Hermione said worried.

"Well they were wrong," Molly simply said.

"But that doesn't make sense how could they be wrong, it was an ultrasound, and didn't she have ones after that to – " Hermione started but was cut off as they came to the operating room door.

"They were done by muggles, clearly they were wrong, she is two months premature and terrified," Molly said dangerously low, Hermione didn't even dare retort yet was cleaned up and thrown into the chaotic world of the operating theatre.

Some hours later Hermione sat by Ginny's bed with Ron, saying nothing just waiting for her to wake. A caesarean had been successfully administered and a little baby boy was born yet he was in intensive care and would be for some time. The tiny little boy had breathing problems, one of his lungs on the verge of collapsing. Hermione had seen him come out all covered in blood, he was the smallest thing she had ever seen in her life not much bigger than her two hands put together. How she wished she could do something but she was powerless in this world.

Ginny woke with a start and looked frantically around the room despite being drowsy. Hermione and Ron leaped up to her and took her hands as she began to sob.

"Where is my baby? Where is he?" she cried. Hermione squeezed on the bed beside her and cradled Ginny in her arms.

"The doctors are looking after him Ginny, he is having problems breathing. But they say he should be ok. They are running other tests to make sure he is all ok that nothing else is wrong," Ron said soothingly. Yet Ginny continued to weep wanting to see her child.

"Why isn't Harry here, he should be here going through this with me," Ginny said angrily pushing Hermione away, "Its his baby he should be here making sure my son is ok!" she cried Ron and Hermione almost tackled her in two massive hugs trying to subdue her as she continued to call out that she wanted to see her baby, and cursing Harry for his absence.

After Ginny had calmed down and fallen back asleep Hermione went and stood at the window of the intensive care unit and saw the tiny little boy tubes coming out of him in such an unnatural way. It was such a sorrowful sight to see that tiny baby holding on for dear life. She could already see the tiny black hairs sprouting from his head. The little tag on his little box read, James. She smiled Harry would have liked that.

"Look it's a baby in a box," Remus said half-heartedly coming to stand beside her. She looked at him slightly put off by the fact that he was joking about a baby who was essentially on life support.

"Remus, it isn't funny," she said quietly.

"I know Hermione, but it is true," he said not looking at her, "You know he is like a little gift, James the baby in a box. Don't worry, he will be ok, I know," Remus added.

"I hope so, he is the most beautiful thing I have seen, look at his little toes it is hard to believe something so small and precious could ever exist," Hermione said wistfully.

"Life is a gift, and I think most of us take it for granted," Remus said looking down and the eighteen year old. She felt a sudden pang of guilt realizing how ridiculous she had been all year. There was a long pause as they watched the nurse change the infant's sheets.

"I am guessing you haven't read the letter yet," Remus said. Hermione didn't respond yet imagined the yellowing envelope crumpled and tear stained sitting in her little china box stuffed at the bottom of her trunk. She hadn't even thought of it recently, it was remarkable about how a thing so small caused her such grief, when really it was the ticket to setting her free.

"It is little wonder's like these that make me thankful to be alive" Hermione said taking a long look at little James and turned away from Remus.

When she finally returned to Hogwarts Hermione faced the thing she feared the most and was surprised at how small a thing it was, to read a letter.

_Dear Hermione. _

_You, Ron and Ginny are the world to me that is why I have to do this. I have to protect you, please forgive me. _

_You are the most brilliant, interesting, loyal, amazing friend I could have ever asked for. You taught me everything I know, without you I would be able to do this. _

_I want you to keep living all over you, keep going for me work through it all because at the end of the day I am always with you. Please don't do anything stupid but move forward, not backwards and remember me. _

_Remember those days that Ron and I would beg for you to do our homework, those times we had at the Burrow, those days the four of us would wander through the school stealing moments we never should have had. Remember the good times, because you know I take you with me, so take me with you._

_Go and live Hermione, make sure Ron doesn't make a git of himself and make sure Ginny is happy. And make sure you are happy and never forget that I love you and you were one of those amazing things that make life worth living._

_I love you forever and always,_

_Harry_

"Looks like you figured everything out all by yourself," Eirene said smoothly in her handsome warm voice close to Hermione's ear. Looking up startled Hermione saw the woman sitting at the end of the bed glowing in the dark room. Hermione had lost track of how long she had been there reading the letter over and over tears smudging the ink. She rubbed her eyes at the change of focus and realised how tired she was.

"What are you doing here? Why did you never come back?" Hermione whispered slightly frustrated with the goddess who bowed her head in shame.

"I am sorry, I kinda got in trouble with my sisters, they told me I shouldn't meddle with your future. But as it turns out you found your way back, took a little longer than I would have liked but you are alive and well, congratulations," she said smiling. Hermione was too tired to question her. "You deserve to be happy Hermione, and remember no matter what happens in life you can always find your way back to happiness," she added placing one soft hand on Hermione's. They smiled at each other and Hermione realised it was going to be ok.

"I think I can finally let him go now," she said folding up the letter. Eirene nodded.

"I think you can too,"

AN 

**Ra ra ok 2 chapters left I think almost over I want to finish a story for once. Sorry it has gotten so shit, slight writers block and in any case I have another life which involves lots of drinking, smoking and staying out all night!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven – I would have stayed up with you all night

Hermione looked around her dormitory; her home for the past seven years. She would never forget the smell of the fresh sheets in the afternoon or the perfume sprayed in copious amounts over the years or the smell of damp towels being heated by the giant heater in the middle of the room. Looking out the window she saw the breathtaking view of the grounds. The lush green spring grass stretching down to the mouth of the lake, black as ink which rippled all the way to the foot of the mountains hiding the castle. That was the view she woke up to every morning; and how she was thankful for it. Saying her final good bye she picked up her rucksack and descended down the stairs. People were already hugging and saying good-bye, the seventh years flashing wizard cameras knowing that some of these people they would never see again. Hermione stayed on the outskirts knowing she wasn't really involved in this social world, all those she was closest too were no longer at the school.

Escaping the flurry of farewells she began her descent through the castle and down to the Entrance Hall. The train back to London would be leaving soon and she wanted to pay someone a visit in Hogsmeade first. As she was about to step out through the leaving crowd and into the brilliant sunlight a strong hand softly gripped her arm. Turning around she saw Blaise standing there his hair swept ever so handsomely across his eyes. He wore his blue-black jeans and "The Strokes" t-shirt with an unzipped hoodie; Hermione marvelled at how handsome he was. He smiled genuinely at her loving to see her out of all black with her hair clean and pulled off her face.

"I wanted to catch you before you left, you know to say goodbye," he quickly said realising he was staring at her. Hermione smiled and blushed slightly.

"I am glad you did, got any plans for next year yet?" she asked.

"I think I am going travelling, not sure what I want out of life yet," he said never taking his eyes of her face.

"Me too," she said. There was a long pause when finally Blaise stretched out the invitation to speak.

"You know, I would love to see you sometime soon, maybe we could keep in contact?" He said scratching his head in slight embarrassment.

"Ok, here's my address," she said scribbling something down on a piece of paper. Blaise's face lit up with joy. "I have to get going, see you soon," she said handing over the piece of paper, holding it and looking in his eyes for a long enough moment for it to be considered to mean something. As she walked away Blaise was tempted to grabbed her and pull her into his arms, yet he let her walk away. Walk away now but not forever.

Hermione enjoyed her walk in the sun to Hogsmeade. She followed the winding path she always did towards the outskirts of the town and found herself outside the familiar Hogshead. She wanted to see Draco once more before she had to go back to London, knowing she would miss him feverously in the short time they would be separated. As she pushed open the door a big grin on her face she found the pub empty. Stepping further in she heard shouting coming from somewhere upstairs. Making her way up the rickety old staircase she saw the first door that belonged Draco; it was open slightly. As Hermione went to push open the door and see what was happening it swung open inward to reveal the tall beautiful Russian blond Anja. She had such a long beautiful face, her pale skin completely void of any blemish and her brilliant blue-green eyes were shimmering with what appeared to be tears. Her perfect lips turned up slightly at the end into a half-smile as she pushed past Hermione and down and out the door.

Hermione continued into the room and saw Draco with his head in his hands sitting at the end of the bed. As he looked up slowly he saw Hermione. He jumped up and embraced her kissing her face with such love Hermione melted into a smile, yet as he drew his face back to look at her she saw the worry in his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked very anxious. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and looked with such sadness into her eyes.

"I have made a terrible mistake," he croaked, his voice wavering. Hermione led Draco to the bed and sat him down next to her.

"Tell me please," she asked not really wanting to hear what happened.

"Anja….Anja…she," he paused and took a long breath, "Hermione you must understand I love you more than anything, I never thought it possible but these last few months since you have been coming in, and these last two weeks have been amazing I have never been so happy in my life. I trust you with everything and I know you trust me, so please believe me when I say there is nothing else in the world I want more than to be with you. Heck I want to be able to love you the rest of my life, but something has happened that might complicate it," he said holding her hands in his.

"What is it?" Hermione asked gravely.

"Anja is two months pregnant," Draco said shaking. Hermione quickly let go of Draco as her hands flew to her mouth. She jumped up from the bed in shock tears beginning to form in her throat.

"You have to be joking!" she exclaimed. Draco jumped up to go to her but she moved away not wanting to be near him.

"We were fighting because I said I wouldn't leave you. There was a reason Anja and I broke up. I said I would be a part of the child's life but I would leave you and I won't leave you. Hermione I love you more than anything in this world," he said moving to her again. Once again she moved away she was speechless.

"Please Hermione understand I don't want to hurt you," he pleaded tears running down his cheeks, "I love you,"

Hermione looked at him all the sadness in the world crushing down upon her. There he was stripped down to nothing but his love and she could not be with him.

"I-I-I c-can't b-be with y-y-you," she stuttered through tears and anger, "You h-h-have a duty to h-h-her n-n-now. I have to go," she said running out the door. Draco jumped up after her and chased her out of the Hogshead and onto the pathway. Students were making their way down from the castle laughing and talking at the top of their lungs. Draco finally caught Hermione and bound her into his arms. She didn't fight but began to sob hopelessly. They stood there for what felt like hours until Hermione spoke.

"I would have loved you forever," she whispered. At this Draco felt his heart break, he knew she would never be with him after this. Hermione ached with pain, as she held him tightly not wanting to let go. She had completely opened up to Draco giving all of herself to him in the short and intense period of their relationship. But that was the beauty of their love, it was always there they didn't need to find it.

"I will love you and you alone forever," Draco whispered in response. "One day, I know it we will be together again," he said kissing her hair. She tilted her face up to his and let him kiss her one last time. She would never forget how good his kisses made her feel, how all the love in the world was poured into them. She knew no matter what, they would always have a little bit of each other's hearts in their own yet they were never allowed to let it take over their whole being. Then as much as she didn't want to, as much as her heart called out for her to stop she turned away from him, his kiss lingering on her lips. And wiping the tears away from her eyes she strode out into the world and didn't dare look back.

**(A/N:**

**Ha ha ha ha sorry they can't be together. I mean seriously archenemies? No in all my ideas of Hermione and Draco love they never end up together, stupid stuff like getting ex girlfriends pregnant happens. Anyway one chapter left! Xoxox)**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve – How to save a life

Hermione waited in the car outside the Women's hospital in London watching for Ginny waiting for her to exit through the main doors her little baby James in her arms. It had been three weeks since she had finished school, three weeks since she had walked away from the love of her life. She had taken up residence temporarily with the Weasley's the joy in the family after the birth of James was infectious and she found she could barely breath without it. She had volunteered to drive Ron, Ginny and James to the hospital so he could have a check up after being released from intensive care only a week ago. Rolling down the window of the old battered car she had been given as a graduation present she felt the hot sticky air mould itself to the insides of the car. It was going to be a hot summer.

Looking over through the passenger window she saw the two redheads walk out of the front entrance with a big grin on each of their faces. Between them was the beautiful black-haired baby in a carrier looking ever so wildly around at the faces of his mother and uncle. Hermione wondered if James could really see yet, could he actually recognise and register colours and faces or were they all just shapes and images that had no real meaning or connection? It didn't seem to bother anyone that he just kept looking around with his big beautiful green eyes.

When they reached the car Hermione jumped out and opened the back door so James' carrier could be strapped in and Ginny could slide in next to him.

"The doctors said everything is ok, that we should take him to the paediatrician in another two weeks just to make sure nothing is wrong,' Ginny said beaming as Ron began strapping in the baby carriage. Hermione looked at Ginny she was continually glowing these days despite her minimal sleep; jumping up whenever the baby cried. Yet despite all the hard work ahead Hermione had never seen Ginny so happy before.

"That is great I am so glad, we better get going or your mother will have a fit," Hermione said as Ginny sat herself down next to her son. As she walked around the other side to jump in the drivers seat Ron looked over the roof of the car and added;

"On top of that I am starved and don't want to miss lunch!" Hermione laughed of course all Ron thought about was his stomach. The drive home was pleasant enough there was a lot of cooing coming out of Ginny from the backseat whilst Hermione and Ron sang along to the radio. Hermione felt genuinely happy as she took a quick glance at her friends. As she turned back she thought out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry but knew it was just a trick. Yet she didn't feel the sadness she usually felt when she realised he wasn't there; rather she was happy to realise that they could all continue on without him as if he was there.

When they arrived back at the Burrow the whole family was setting up the large table outside for lunch. As they walked across the thick green grass the little baby between the three of them there was a call of welcome from Mr. Weasley followed by a fussy rant issued by his wife who couldn't keep her smile hidden.

"Ron will you please help Fred and George set the table?" Mrs. Weasley instructed, Ron did as he was told thinking that the quicker everything got done the quicker he would be fed.

"Fleur is inside with Addison Ginny, oh hey there Hermione!" Bill said coming out of the house with a stack of plates. When they entered the cool of the house Hermione and Ginny spotted Fleur, Bill's young wife on the lounge breastfeeding her three-month-old girl Addison Mathilde. Ginny smiled broadly and walked over with her own baby; sitting next to the blond French girl whilst Hermione hung behind. She looked over her shoulder and out the door then to the mothers club and smiled to herself. Rather than joining in the fuss and celebration she made her way up the rickety old stairs to where she shared a room with Ron the baby now sleeping in Ginny's room. Her suitcase was packed tight at the end of her bunk. She had decided to go travelling for the next ten months, wanting to learn all she possibly could. The Burrow was the first stop on her tour around Great Britain and Europe.

Throwing her handbag on the bed Hermione saw the open letter lying on her pillow. She had received it that morning. It was a charming letter from Blaise telling her about how he was planning to travel starting in France then moving all around Europe. He told her how his band (she was quite surprised at this little bit of unknown information) had secured themselves a few pub gigs at different locations around Germany, France and Poland that summer and that if she had a chance should come along. Hermione had been debating all day whether or not to respond to Blaise; she still debated it. However, there was no harm in meeting up with an old school friend was there?

Nevertheless she planned to leave the country at the end of the week ready for her big adventure, one she would do all by herself. She was excited to strike out on her own, yet she recognized that she would miss seeing her friends and family. Although she knew she didn't have a choice, she had to go away just for a little while at least.

Folding up the letter and tucking it into her diary she saw the battered and smudge letter that Harry had written her before his death. She looked at it but did not dwell she already knew what was written there. Closing up her diary with a snap she sat on the end of her bed and looked around the room. The posters around the walls were peeling off and old socks and shirts belonging to Ron littered the floor. She smiled so classically Ron; Hermione doubted his room had ever been clean in his life.

Hermione heard the call for lunch down stairs and could imagine the whole Weasley family including the newest members flocking around the table ready to eat the scrumptious meal prepared by Molly Weasley. She waited a moment before joining them closing her eyes and breathing in the thick summer air. She saw his laughing face urging her to go on and she smiled to herself.

The end

**(A/N:**

**There it is all over no more! Until I write the sequel. I hope you liked it, I did enjoy it even though I started to get bored. Catch up with you people soon!)**


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